Find Your Focus

Find your focus. This is one of the hardest things to do in life. To find the path you want to be on, figure out how to get on it, and actually have the vision, courage, and drive to see that path either to its end, or to the next path.

Most of our lives as a developing young person up through college are filled with activities designed to fill the time and make us “well-rounded.” As a consequence of this we become accustomed to both doing things just because we think we “should” and staying the course even when it doesn’t make sense. The two most pertinent manifestations of this mentality that I see are keeping our day job when we should quit, and staying in college when we would do better to drop out.

Having a day job is hard. Especially for a young person. If your goals are something greater than just earning a paycheck then at some point you’ll have to give up that job to focus on your dreams. If your job is just something to pay the bills and your passions lie in your hobbies or something that you can easily do after work, then a day job where you don’t bring home much is probably fine.

But if your dream is to have your passion align with your job then having a day job can make this incredibly difficult to accomplish. How many times do you come home from a long shift and truly have the energy to work on the even more difficult task of learning that new skill or building that new network connection?

But it’s not just about energy. Doing something that your heart is not into just because you feel you have to or you are supposed to saps your motivation to push towards your true goals. I know that when I worked the second shift at a restaurant (starting around 4:45) I would be utterly useless most of the time before. My subconscious thinking went something to the tune of “well I’m working later so I can just lay around for the whole day before.”

I’ve met many people who have had similar experiences. In some way you feel like you did (or will do) your required work for the day. You feel adequate but not fulfilled. As time goes on you will waste more and more days while telling yourself (and possibly actually feeling like) that you’ve done what you needed to do for the day. Meanwhile that book never gets written, that coding never gets learned, and you are no closer to doing want you actually want to do.

The same goes double for school. Particularly college. College students are able to spend the majority of the time drinking and partying while spending thousands of dollars—without thinking twice—because, similar to a day job, college gives you the false sense that your “doing something”, and that that is good enough. Since many graduate from college little closer to their goals or to that dream career I think it’s safe to say that it is probably not enough. But you go to class (sometimes), read that chapter, ace that paper, and you feel like you did your job for that day…or week. In reality you probably aren’t any closer to becoming a competent, productive person ready to seize their dreams.

In a sense these things not only distract you from progressing, but actively stop you by luring you into a false sense of accomplishment. They make you feel as if you’ve gotten something done, but in reality you haven’t. What to do?

Find your focus. If you can’t directly and tangibly see how your college “career” will lead you to the job and the life you want then simply get out. If you are doing college just to do it, or because of a vague idea of bettering yourself then you are essentially paying thousands of dollars to engage in a lengthy and very expensive self-deception. Get out and do something productive.

In the case of a day job, it’s understandably a bit more complicated. You need to pay your bills, maybe pay off college debt, and often aren’t sure of your next move. While figuring that out is more than doable, if your financial situation makes it so that you need to work full time then there may be little way around it.

If that’s the case then best you can do is try to find a job related to your interests or where you feel you can actually learn tangible skills that will be helpful down the road. If you are a waiter then focus on your selling skills and people skills. Keep track of your sales and tips so as to document your productivity. But above all else, do your job well. You are your reputation and you’ll need references down the road to prove your character and work ethic to future employers.

If you can’t quit the job then use it to your advantage in every way possible. Consciously learn everything you can. On top of that create a plan of action for what you can do outside of work and create a timetable for when you will do what and how. When it comes time to move on from that job you’ll be ready. Find your focus, be consistent, and you will find that you gain exponentially more control over the direction of your life.